Of Religion

Well, I've been holding off blogging about controversial topics like politics, the designated hitter and run-on sentences, but I think I'm going to break that rule and subject you to my take on religion.

I am a firm believer in the Church of the Drunken Trickster Gods. Basically, the DTGs are a bunch of lads (and one hot chick, whom they all think of as one of the Gods but secretly fancy, in great part because she can out-drink them and watches sports) who get together, drink a bunch of pints and cause mischief. The particular DTGs I believe in cause mischief by drunkenly out-doing each other in coming up with the most randomly outrageous schemes (which usually involve a cute woman) to get me to believe that everything will work out smashingly ... only to pull the rug from under my feet at the very moment my hope and trust in humanity is restored and I actually start actually believing things will work out. At that point the winner gets a free round or two. Possibly shooters. And they all point and laugh mockingly, knowing that they've bested me yet again and that balance has been restored to the multiverse.

There are a number of appealing elements to this religion. First, clearly, the DTGs made me in their image. Second, once you eventually figure out the central tenets of the religion, the DTGs's handywork can  be detected with some patience and cunning (hint: it usually starts with 'Hey, look, there's a cute woman smiling at me...') although they do tend do get deviouser and deviouser... Third, well, it can actually explain a heck of a lot throughout history, starting with Helen of Troy and ranging from Wallis Simpson to Janet Jones to 'Sundown' by Gordon Lightfoot to Gaius Baltar to Margaret Sinclair to Lady MacBeth to Andrea (oh... Andrea... ) Fourth, the DTGs can get away with lost week-ends, especially in late winter/early spring...

It's starting to make sense, right?

So, CRA, about that tax-free status...


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