Where Did I Eat : Hy’s Steakhouse in Ottawa

Last Tuesday, I had dinner for the first time at Hy’s Steakhouse in Ottawa.  It was not planned and came about after I met friends in the lounge for drinks and found out they had recently gotten engaged.  Even for an embittered, sour old fuck like me, that seemed to be an occasion that called for some sort of celebration.  So that was pretty much the logic behind choosing to eat there:  ‘Well, as we’re already here…’

I will be upfront:  I have never pined to eat at Hy’s.  I have had drinks in the lounge a few times and figured the restaurant to be an old-fashioned, upper end, wood-panelled steakhouse, with a menu that harkened back to an earlier era.  My expectations were met.  The menu reads like a testament to what my parents would have considered a once-in-five-years, special evening out in an upper crust, patrician restaurant:  ‘Look, oysters Rockefeller!’  ‘Ooh, escargot!’  ‘I think I’ll have the shrimp cocktail.’  ‘Oh my, they have lobster on the menu…’ 

And, if you park your foodie sensibilities at the door, there is really nothing wrong with that.  Our meals were solid, if unspectacular, mostly meat and potatoes fare.  I had the beef Carpaccio as an appetizer, which was quite nice and the ‘filet à la Hy’s’, beef medallions drowned in a standard mushroom gravy.  They have an extensive wine list with a wide range of prices.  I was looking to order a British Columbia wine and there was a fair splattering on the list.  We ended up with a bottle of Okanagan Springs Méritage which, once it opened up, was a lovely accompaniment to our various beef entrées.

We had a good time, in great part because of the company.  I was ready to accept that the food, while not overwhelming, corresponded exactly to my expectations, from a restaurant that sells itself above all on creating a particular ambiance, the perfect restaurant where one can have a power lunch or be carried ‘far above the noise and haste of business and political life’… until we ordered the cheese plate.  And that’s when my foodie outrage set in.  I should start with giving them credit, they included both types of cheddar:  white and orange.  Also, some generic blue cheese (possibly Gorgonzola), a brie and, I think, some provolone.  I kid you not.  If a restaurant expects patrons to drop $125 for a three-course meal with wine, then it needs to feature a well-stocked cheese cart.  An assemblage of grocery-store quality cheese slices is just not acceptable.  Heck, I can throw together a much better cheese plate from what’s in my fridge right now.  (And because you are wondering:  Dragon’s Breath from Halifax; Triple Crème du Village from Warwick, Québec; Le Baluchon, an organic raw cow’s milk from Québec; and, one of my favourites, Maroilles from France.)

And that tells you what you need to know about Hy’s.  It is not about the culinary experience; it is about experiencing a throwback era (take your pick: 50’s, 60’s, 70’s?), where going out for a fancy meal would involve a shrimp cocktail, and 1000-island dressing.  If you are looking to get a glance at a politician or a member of the press gallery, pretend for an evening you are an Ottawa power broker or, better yet, have a Mad Men-themed evening, then by all means, Hy’s is the perfect place.